Panorama Seasonal

What I Am Thankful For

Mes chéries, there is nothing better than closing your work laptop or your school books (or at least telling yourself you’ll keep them closed) and going home to do nothing but loaf around, watch all the Thanksgiving episodes of Gossip Girl and FRIENDS, and eat till you’re in a food coma. It’s been a while since I sat down for a personal chat, and I figured what better time to reflect with you all than on Thanksgiving?

Fun fact, Thanksgiving used to be my least favorite holiday for many reasons. Aside from not being a big fan of Thanksgiving foods, my parents and I have never been the type to celebrate family holidays. Essentially, the three of us haven’t always gotten along and have only recently realized we function better living our own separate lives. So as a kid, when holidays come around, I often focused on enjoying the comfort of my bed, my baby dog who is sadly now growing old, and my mom’s cooking.

Now that I’m older and have been out of my house for five years, Thanksgiving is not my favorite holiday for a new batch of reasons. Back in college, I hated coming home and attending large potlucks. They consisted of way too much smiling and making small talk. Plus let’s be honest, very rarely do you ever go to a large gathering and not come across at least someone in attendance who is there to not only dig through the food but also the gossip on everyone else’s lives. I do have to say that after turning 21, watching the drama unfold at Thanksgiving potluck parties did become much more entertaining, if you know what I mean… 😉🍷

This year, I’m not that bitter or sarcastic going into this weekend or the parties ahead. I think I’ve grown out of that phase of caring what anyone around me has to say about my family or my life. I have an abundant amount of things to be insanely grateful for and none of them include other people’s opinions. I think I’ve spent so many family holidays resentful for feeling like I don’t have a tight-knit family or letting the abundance of very silly gossip get to my head. What I should have done was focus on the positive things.

It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and I’m sitting on the NJ Transit train home (yes I know that my picture is in Grand Central and not Penn Station 😂) with no immediate stressors in sight. Any other year, I would be dreading to come home, but for once I’m relieved to. My past few months, especially the last two weeks, have not been all that glitters. I’m sure you’ve been able to tell as I’ve fallen off my two weekly posts schedule, have yet to really start up my YouTube videos, and am just a bit scattered all over my social media. I desperately needed to just go back to familiarity to recenter myself, even if familiarity includes a potluck 😂🍖🥧.

I have a lot of things to be grateful for this year. On the surface, there are the obvious things: graduating college on time, moving to my dream city with almost all my closest friends a subway ride away, starting my first job, and being able to comfortably support myself and my hobbies right out of college. But outside of the obvious, I’m incredibly blessed and lucky to be where I am in life. I used to hold so much resentment to my family for putting me through emotional hardships as a child, to shitty friends I came across in life for teaching me a lot about loyalty/betrayal, and to the people who hurt me in life and love.

As millennials, we constantly bitch and moan about our lives. Maybe it’s because we hate our first jobs or dislike our friends. Maybe it’s because we always think we “deserve better” or that we “can do better.” Maybe because everything is unfair and outside factors that challenge us or create obstacles are so bad that we take everything personally and become infuriated with the world. Believe me, I am guilty of doing it sometimes as well. Unfortunately, it might take something actually terrible occurring before you realize that no matter how much you dislike your job or people you deal with, if there is even just a moment where you find something to smile or laugh about, enjoy that moment. There are so many worse things that could be happening that we forget we don’t always have it that bad.

Now, I’m unbelievably grateful for everything that has happened. Had I not learned the ugly sides of life at a young age, I would never have matured emotionally as fast as I did, which means I would have made a lot worse mistakes. Had I not learned that you can’t trust that everyone you meet will be good for you, I would have mingled with the wrong people for too long of a time. Had I not had my heart broken, I would never learn what it means to love yourself or be your own hero. Every smile and tear has shaped me into a person I’m pretty damn proud of at the age of twenty-two. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a whirlwind of flaws to work on, but I’m not worried. I’m exactly where I need to be thanks to everything life has handed me.

So mes chéries, this Thanksgiving I hope you all ask yourself what you’re thankful for. Don’t focus on the things that are not perfect in your life, but rather think of all the experiences, good or bad, that you’ve been blessed with and how they’ve helped you or will help you get to where you want to go.

I’m thankful for everyone in the past. I’m thankful for my parents. I’m especially thankful for my friends.You all have put up with a whole lot more than you bargained for at times, and I’m not sure what I did to deserve you. But most of all, I’m thankful for YOU, mes chéries. Merci beaucoup to you all for being a part of La Coterie this year through my relaunch and all. Your words have given me the motivational boosts I needed when I feel drained and uninspired. Without you, Bouge & Rouge would not have grown so quickly or be what it is today. I’m truly so appreciative of you all. Until next time… bisou, bisou 💋






Outfit Details

Top: TopShop @ Nordstorm
Pants: Necessary Clothing
Shoes: Christian Louboutin 
Kate Spade



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