“Kill me now, UGH.”

Today, my new prescription contacts were supposed to come in. They didn’t. I also haven’t had time to purchase new glasses, something I have scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Now I’m very close to being legally blind. Although my vision hasn’t worsen by much over the year, my astigmatism worsened greatly this summer. I figured I would just drive carefully and squint slightly if it gets too bad. I knew the road well anyways, right?

The glare from my astigmatism was much worse than I have ever experienced.

Long story short, a car was flying 70mph down the dark back roads and didn’t hesitate to decelerate as he saw me turning left onto the road. As a result, I was nearly hit by two cars coming in from either side because I had to slam on the breaks to avoid him plowing me into smithereens. Talk about seeing blurs of my life flash before me…

I made it to my friend’s house and back home safely, thank God, but this entire experience taught me a few very important things:

  1. Try to never joke around about “killing yourself” just because you’re upset or don’t want to do something. It’s not appropriate to diminish issues like depression or suicidal thoughts by using graphic language such as “shoot me now” or “I’d rather slit my wrists” to describe your emotions about a simple responsibility that just isn’t pleasant to do. I’ve experienced clinical depression, lost numerous classmates to suicide, and watched friends suffer from losses which they blame themselves for not being able to prevent. When the moment comes where it’s a matter of life or death, you’re going to wish you never joked about it. Life is a precious treasure. Treat it with respect.
  2. Commit to something. Never go halfway. Had I just committed to stepping hard on the gas and completing my turn, I probably could have avoided nearly crashing. Instead, I stopped halfway in the middle of the street for a slight second and nearly got hit. Commit to whatever you do, because you have a higher chance of coming out of it successfully than if you were to half-ass it.
  3. You may know something so well that you describe it in your sleep, but nothing is forever; everything is temporary. Someone once told me that everything is temporary. It may have been one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received. Whether it’s hardships and challenges or simply change in traffic and vision, nothing is ever the same. Don’t count on familiarity. Always be prepared to be surprised.
  4. God bless Honda. Seriously, this is the third time their brakes have saved me from losing my face, or this time my life. And no, they did not ask me to say this (LOL.)

The next time you don’t want to do something and want to say “Ugh. Someone please just kill me now,” don’t. I’ve heard this so many times and just cringed. Be careful what you say, and be even more careful about how it can affect others around you who hear it.



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